The Little Beefeater That Could: TOL Pt. V

Y’all. Let’s discuss this little tyke for a minute.


The littlest beefeater. I mean, he don’t even fill out the box he’s standing in front of. I just want to say that all 4’5″ of him has inspired me to new heights…pun intended. I want you all to dream big dreams and to go for those dreams, cause dammit he proves that anything is possible!

I bet nobody f*cks with this little firecracker. I mean dang, this dude’s hat is as tall as he is. He must have hella neck muscles. Probably a strong back, too. His posture looks excellent. Do he got lifts in is shoes? Remember that Eddie Murphy movie with the Klumps? That “Hercules Hercules” scene? Well. If the shoe fits.

He look like he could star in the nutcracker as the doll. Heck, you know this little ankle-biter had to be the meanest and the roughest just to get as far as he’s gone. I can guarantee you this little munchkin had to go above and beyond the call of duty just to even be considered. You know he EARNED this. His entire demeanor says, “What, you thought this was a game?!” I wonder how many shins he had to kick just to move up the ladder.

Look at him standing there, ain’t he precious? I just wanna pick him up and put him in my pocket! The little slugger just delighted the sh*t outta me. I imagine this is how I’ll feel watching my kid graduate kindergarten. God bless. Remember how I said the Jewel House was under armed guard?


Never fear, The Littlest Beefeater is here!

I bet he knows twelve different ways to kill me with a pencil, while I’m talking all this smack. I bet he could jump up and snap my neck and I’d never even know what hit me. Or as my mom said, “his lil’ self got something to prove, and I don’t want him to prove it on me.”

And make no mistake about it; I would never, ever say none of this to his face! Ha!


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